Change is good. Or is change hard?

Which one are you?

A lot of us say we are open to change, when in actuality we really aren’t. 

At least I can speak for myself...I like to say I am open to change, but I don’t deal well with things being “different” than what I’m accustomed to. 

In the last blog, I talked about how “it's not really about the food.” I, personally, don’t like Thanksgiving food. It’s not because I’m a food snob, but my body doesn’t process the traditional combination of foods the same anymore. Other members of our family don’t love the spread either, so our family’s Thanksgiving celebration looks different. We changed it to make everyone comfortable.

Thanksgiving Day, as a whole, is a departure from the norm–being in someone else’s home, the assortment of unfamiliar people, the sounds, the smells, the mealtime, and of course the meal itself. If you have a child with special needs, this combination can be a disaster waiting to happen. Being home with the people they know (and love) and adhering to their normal life is safe. Trying new things can be trial by fire.

While it may be exciting to think of your child eating Aunt Rosie’s famous pumpkin pie, your child may not be as excited. Spending the day at Aunt Rosie’s might be stressful for them as well. So, here are a few helpful tips to make the holidays more enjoyable.

Prepare Them

Depending on your child, this may have to be done more than once. Meaning two things: you may have to prepare them every year, and/or maybe you will have to prepare them multiple times leading up to the day’s celebration. This can be:

• Showing them pictures of those who will be there, the home, and the food. 
• Preparing or purchasing foods similar to what will be served that day so that they can try or taste. Having them smell the food wouldn't be a bad idea either. 
• *If these don't work, don’t beat yourself up. You tried. Eat before you go.*

Bring With You What They Need

• If you are going to dinner at someone else’s home, but your child doesn’t want to participate because of the crowded room or other reasons mentioned above, pick your battles. Bring them what they need to create a safe space–stuffed animals, puzzles, devices, etc. Give them space to escape if they need it.
• Pack snacks or offer to bring a side dish that you know your child will eat that maybe others will eat, as well. Your child may not be the only picky eater! 

Go Later

If what works best for your family is to skip the larger holiday meal, then yes, you can skip the holiday meal. You can have your meal at home and join the larger gathering later. This allows you to keep the normal meal schedule and keep some of the peace. No one is focused on what’s different, who is or isn’t eating or another’s behavior. And when you come together with the larger group, you can focus solely on being thankful for one another. 

Photo: “Happy black family communicating during Thanksgiving meal in dining room” by skynesher