The Holidays: Is it Really About the Food?
‘Tis the season!
Cue the Mariah Carey BUT NOT before you watch “A Charlie Brown Thanksgiving.”
I’m a serious “Thanksgiving before Christmas” person.
Here in Alabama, the weather recently changed overnight to reflect that of the holiday season; however, by Thanksgiving, it could literally be 80 degrees.
When I think about the holidays, I think about pumpkin spice, family gatherings, turkey, mac and cheese, dressing, cranberry sauce, and pie. Most families center their Thanksgiving gatherings around a table of food, and this can complicate lots of things. Food is personal.
In 2014, Huffpost described this perfectly, “The smells and tastes of certain foods activate memories that anchor a past time in our lives, both positive and negative. Holiday foods have the power to transport us to a different time and place. We make certain emotional connections to the dessert grandma once made…”
That being said, I have to be fully transparent.
I don’t like Thanksgiving food.
Yes, my memories are of all of the things Thanksgiving meals are made of, but I don’t want those things…well, maybe the pie but nothing else. I think when I realized I didn’t have to eat the food, I stopped. It does bring forth memories of a time when I had to eat it and had no choice. The last time I cooked it for my family, it was at a time when I struggled with what food worked for my body post colon surgery. Thanksgiving food did not work, and that changed the actual taste and my feelings around it. Is food traumatic? Maybe.
But I also have picky eaters. My oldest will eat some of the Thanksgiving meal, but my youngest will only eat the turkey. The dressing, the jelly cranberry sauce are all a little too texture weird for him. My husband is all about the Thanksgiving meal. So, how do we navigate this?
Well, I don’t cook on Thanksgiving. Our family tradition is to travel away for the week and eat out on Thanksgiving Day. Last year, we found a restaurant that served both the traditional Thanksgiving meal but also their regular menu. On Thanksgiving, I ate seafood. My kids had hamburgers and fries, and my husband had Thanksgiving dinner. Everyone was happy. We have the memories and the pictures to prove it.
I initially titled this blog, “It’s not just about the food,” but thus far, it’s been about the food. I guess I meant the actual “Thanksgiving food.” If I think about attending a large family gathering and decline the meal, would I be ruining the meal or the gathering? Lots of people (those who cook it), take pride in their daily, weeks long labor in preparing a large meal for this day. Saying “no thank you” to the turkey and dressing or bringing in my own food, can be seen as insulting.
What I love about our small, family celebration is there’s no commentary about my “rejection” plate (it’s full…but not full of the traditional meal). It’s my personal decision to eat shrimp for Thanksgiving because it makes me feel better. And it tastes better (to me). And everyone can eat whatever they want. And no one judges anyone for their choices. After all, everyone is differentl different and no one way of eating is best for everyone.
At the end of the day, the holidays are about connecting with the ones we love. The people make the holidays memorable. And while the holiday table brings us together for a moment, what’s on the table doesn’t necessarily matter. But what does matter is how you feel in the moment. So, if what’s on that table makes you feel like disconnecting, then it’s not serving you. If you find something that works for you (or like me you’ve decided some things don’t), just know you’re not being difficult by listening to your body and doing what is right for you.
Once the food is no longer an issue, you can connect and laugh and feel the warmth and joy of the season.
